GRAY
In the spirit of the true meaning of Tuesday Tutorials, I am going to delve into the topic of sleep. The body's great equalizer. On the real sleep is an unbelievably important aspect of our lives. Those who fall asleep easy,..the ones who hit the pillow and it's lights out....f them! Because for the rest of us, it's not always that easy. The natural stress of life just keeps us up sometimes and it's unfortunate when you consider what could happen after enough sleep deprivation. Heath Ledger and Michael jackson developed addictions and eventually lost their lives because of them...all because they just couldnt sleep. So the following is a tutorial on some tips, (personally tested and approved by yours truly) on how to get to sleep if you're struggling.
Stretch- Stretch out vigorously your legs and back muscles. Stretching puts a great deal of stress on a your muscles which is followed by a loose, relaxing sensation. Leg and back tightness are usually the most troubling, so loosen.
Pancakes-If you like em, thinking about pancakes or a food that you want to eat when you wake up will help you to fall asleep. If you're hungry enough, thinking about breakfast food will psych yourself into sleeping.
Watch BAD TV-not just bad, watch the show Comics Unleashed-- If you live in the chi and have ever had insomnia, odds are you've flipped by WCIU and the show Comics Unleashed at midnight and 1 am. This show is a round table discussion of unknown comics that are so unfunny, that they have the adverse effect of laughter, which is sleep, so there u go. Listen to 3 punchlines and you'll be out.
Old Addage--Try to stay awake.....may be an old wive's tale, but it's often repeated as the best way to fall asleep. Keep your eyes open and think about staying awake.....but I think best method of all is
Beat Off--masturbating is easily the best way to counteract insomnia. Just jerk it and you will be physically, and for some reason mentally...drained. I don't know if it works for girls, but cuming makes you sleepy, so yea, girls should do it too...just make sure that by jerking yourself to sleep you aren't waking anybody else from theirs.
Beat Off--masturbating is easily the best way to counteract insomnia. Just jerk it and you will be physically, and for some reason mentally...drained. I don't know if it works for girls, but cuming makes you sleepy, so yea, girls should do it too...just make sure that by jerking yourself to sleep you aren't waking anybody else from theirs.
If the average person lives to be 74 years old,..and the average person sleeps for about a third of their lives.....you are looking at 194, 821 hours of sleep potentially. SO my advice is to not miss one hour. Use the methods I've layed before you, (especially the last one) to get the rest you deserve.
2 comments:
So he's finally back, like Mase, living la vida loca but not la vida coca.
I've always been an advocate of masterbation for sleep, it really does work wonders.
gray -- no one is really interested in your pre-bed rituals. keep that type of shit to yourself. soon we will be living in the same apt. and when you tell me, "im off to bed"... its going to put a terrible image in my head because i know what you will be doing. your not 'off to bed' your 'off to jerk'
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