I Have Had Enough of Twitter

Tuesday Tutorials: It's Time We all just Stopped Caring for a Moment

Dateline: I Miss when Newspapers were Cool.

I fear that despite crusading against it, that I’m fighting a losing battle against an organism we’ve created, but can no longer control. Frankly, it’s scary how popular Twitter has gotten, and when compared to what the site actually offers, it’s tragic. If twitter becomes the new standard for online social media then we really are doomed in terms of human interaction. Now don’t get me wrong, I know people evolve socially and to this point, each advancement in communication has been great. The phone, the email, the IM, the text, and the wall post are all relevant, meaningful advancements that fostered at least some intelligent forms of communication. But we crossed the line and went too far with the Tweet, and we need to go back. Today’s tutorial is on how we get back before it’s too late.

First, let me explain the severity of the problem. Remember how cool Facebook was when it came out. Well Twitter is smashing Facebook in terms of popularity. According to the Neilsen NetView for internet ratings, in 1 year, Twitter saw a 1,374 percent jump in unique visitors between February 2008 and February this year, up to 7 million from only 475,000. By comparison, Facebook grew 228 percent, to 65.7 million users, during the same period. Mere peanuts. That’s all the evidence I need, it’s out of control.


People love twitter so much they are getting "fail-whale" (a popular image seen on the site) tattoos. ...on their bodies!
I thought facebook was pretty popular, but im sure even Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have a damn tattoo.

In case you aren’t familiar, Twitter is essentially a glorified dedication to the concept of the AIM away message or the Facebook status. Each user can write out lil 140 character micro-blogs that offer a few sentences about what you’re doing and you can also add pics. The idea here is that the blog is supposed to updated on a whim, or literally anytime a user changes what they are doing. So last year, when the site started, office workers used it to let their friends know how their day was going or students logged on to keep in touch with friends while they were stuck in class w/o having send a text message. But when PR firms and marketing agencies saw Twitter’s potential to provide 24/7 publicity to their clients, all of a sudden every celebrity has to tweet. So now, Lance Armstrong tweets from the hospital after his collarbone surgery to tell us he feels fine, Charlie Villanueva tweets from the locker room at halftime of a Bucks game to tell us he needs to step it up in the 2nd half, and Mark Cuban tweets from his courtside seat to tell us that the refs are blowing the game for his Mavericks.

I know we have a quest for knowledge, and that humans, especially American ones want their news now, no matter what that news is. Case in point, 52 news papers around the U.S. are in the process of calling Peter Francis Geraci for those bankruptcy info tapes. But there comes a point where being curious turns into being nosey. And Twitter is the nosiest shit I have ever seen. Twitter has gained such wild popularity because it’s actively participated in by celebrities, from athletes like Shaq, to movie stars like Jennifer Aniston, to musicians like John Mayer, to politicians like various Reps. And Senators. If we truly care about what these people are “doing” at every waking moment, it implies that we don’t have any problems of our own to attend to. That bothers me, and it should bother us all because please believe, we ALL have plenty to worry about. If you don’t think it’s out of hand now, it will be. Pretty soon, twittering is going to descend the ladder of prominent people, and soon we will be saturated with tweets that we really don’t care about from people we really don’t want to hear from. Parents are going to tweet about their kid’s little league games, bus driver’s are going to tweet about their favorite routes, and our biggest fears will be realized when gangbangers tweet about taking the day off due to cold, rainy weather conditions.

So stop. Stop caring. If you don’t pay attention, it might go away. If we’re lucky. Either that, or I'm going to have to start Tweeting between innings from the dugout during softball games.

Obama Rama

Commencement is the pinnacle of any student's academic career. The moment that caps your four (or so) years of cramming, partying, and growing as a person. It is a bitter sweet day for every student as you and your respective university are saying good-bye to each other. Now the actual ceremony is long and boring but is high-lighted by the orator. In bringing in the guest speaker the university presidents hope to send the soon to be alumni off with one last great memory.

The University of Notre Dame is one of America's most prestigous universities, and with that being said the university is also able to enlist the speaking skills of some of the most prominent and powerful people in the world. From Prime Ministers such as Lester Pearson (Canadian) to Presidents of foreign countries, Jose Napoleon Duarte (of El Salvador) and other high ranking officials in the government (J. Edgar Hoover). But the feathers that most likely stick out of their hats with the boldest colors are the United States Presidents. Notre Dame students have been fortunate enough to have five Presidents speak at their commencement. John F. Kennedy, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Dwight Eisenhower and George W. Bush have all take to the podium. It is without a doubt an astonishing list that this year became more astonishing when Notre Dame president, Fr. John Jenkins, named current president Barack Obama the speaker for the 2009 spring commencement.

The resume of a Barack Obama speaks for itself and does not need to be stated here. Which ever side your political views fall on, be it left right or in the middle, I would hope you would agree Obama and his story are incredible. Therefore making those students, who have the opportunity to sit and listen to inspirational and promising words from the President, some of the luckiest people in America.

But not everyone sees it that way. Infact there are some 200,000+ online petitioners within the Notre Dame community who have expressed disappointment and even outrage to the extent of a boycott. Being a liberal Catholic such a reaction from the community is lost on me, but had my political views or religion do not influence my thoughts on the subject whatsoever. Just like actor/comedian Sasha Baron Cohen did not represent what Harvard stands for when he spoke to their graduating class in character as Ali G (one of his personas).

The invitation of Barack Obama to speak is in no way shape or form a reflection of the views held at Notre Dame. Obama is not using the stage provided to fundraise or push any certain agenda, he merely accepted an invitation to help create a memorable experience for the Notre Dame seniors. And that is what faculty like Ralph McInery forget when they claim, "Notre Dame has forfieted its right to call itself a Catholic University." Or when South Bend Bishop John D'Arcy calls for a boycott and denounces the choice made by the university president.

Thankfully the students were not forgotten by Fr. Jenkins, instead he has used reason in stating that although Obama the school and church do not agree with all the policies of a Obama, it is still an extreme priviledge to be able to host him at their commencement. He understands as all those who are up in arms that there is no one who is a better choice for this honor than Obama.

The inability of those to cast their political views aside is just flat out sad. Differing with Obama's politics is one thing but pick and choose where and when you fight that political battle. If you're in opposition to Obama's views join a picket line, write your senator, draw a light on the issue without stealing the thunder of graduates who have worked extremely hard to reach this, the students. Soapboxes come in all shapes, sizes and forms but this is not a soapbox. So I recommend all of those grandstanding against this invitation step down and let the students have their moment and show some respect.

I'm Good

http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/995006

It may not be a picture but it is just as funny as sad to check this bracket out and see how much red versus green there is. And I thought I knew a little bit about college basketball.

Speaking of the NCAA tournament: I am sure everyone has listened to the break down of each game over and over again, and while listening I know you have heard the phrase, "If they make their shots, they will win (or are tough to beat)".

WHAT?!?! If the little sisters of the poor hit their shots then they'll beat anyone. It is without a doubt one of the dumbest phrases involved with the break down of games. It's like saying, if Albert Pujols shows the power and great swing he displayed during BP he is going to go 4-4 today with a few home runs.

Neighborhood Wakness

Thorough Thursdays: They Scrapped it Bro...but why
Dateline: Reading between the Lines

On the south side, yesterday was dubbed “Black Wednesday”, and it had nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Yesterday, the South Side Irish St. Patrick's Day Parade Committee in a 12 to 9 vote decided to cancel next year’s Southside Irish Parade, discontinuing a tradition that lasted 31 years in one of Chicago’s most historic neighborhoods. As a resident of this neighborhood, I was a bit saddened by the news.

Though I am not Irish, I have always admired the Irish in this city for their ability to promote their culture so effectively, as I feel that a big part of Chicago’s reputation and identity has a very Irish feel to it. The Southside Irish parade was perhaps the best example of that. Despite its location, in a neighborhood far less traveled, the parade drew in over 300,000 people and was gaining national popularity in recent years.

But the outrageous revelry and binge drinking that’s associated with St. Patrick’s Day was also the lifeblood of the Southside parade. And that same debauchery was the reason the planning committee chose to cancel next year’s parade. Or so I thought…On the news, and in print the next day, the planning committee released police statistics regarding DUIs, underage drinking citations, and disorderly conduct tickets complimented with official statements that read like this from parade spokeswoman Mary Beth Sheehan.

“it has grown and our ability to control it had gone away…the size of the crowds got so big, public safety becomes an issue."

This quote makes it seem like it was purely a safety decision, but when you hear more quotes, they can be analyzed a bit further and you can see where the true motives lay.

“The parade was so big and so many people come into the neighborhood that we could hardly handle it. It kind of got out of hand. Every year, our number one priority was: How can we control the drinking”

Control? Who are you fooling? Cancelling a St. Patrick’s Day parade in Chicagobecause you can’t control the drinking is like calling off Mardi Gras in New Orleans because you can’t control the titties and beads. There is no way a committee makes that decision to cancel the St. Pat’s parade after handling the excessive drinking for 31 years and at the height of the events greatest popularity. No, the decision is deeper than that.

The planning committee sunk into an unfortunate, regressive way of thinking that permeates through the older generations of Beverly residents, neighborhood narcissism. As a resident of Beverly, I inhale and exhale this dangerous attitude every day and it has been apparent in several important instances in Beverly’s history. Such as in 2005, the relative outrage over neighborhood ice cream shop Rainbow Cone opening another branch in downtown Chicago or in 2003 with the St Sabina Controversy, when parents of Beverly protested having to travel into black neighborhoods for grade school sports and demanded that Sabina, the predominately black grammar school in neighboring Gresham, play all its games away from home.

Beverly has always been a very homogenous neighborhood, consisting of similar income, race, religion, and family structure. Basically cousins, hang out with cousins, who work with cousins, who went to school with other cousins…or at least family friends. You can feel it in the local businesses, restaurants, and particularly the bars on Western Ave, Beverly is ultra content with who they are and what it means to be Beverly. Now there is nothing wrong with that, but over time, that attribute of neighborhood self-reliance has turned into flaw of neighborhood self-centeredness. The parade being cancelled is a great example of how.

Oddly enough, the popularity of the parade was its downfall. Since the early 90s, people in Beverly have been insanely “uncontrollable” during the St. Pat’s parade, but now, because outsiders come in to enjoy the festivities, (increasing its popularity, and total number of participants) you want to shut it down because it’s out of control? No. What kind of event organizers want their event to have less attendance, less prominence, and less success? Backwards thinking ones.

Please believe that when Northsiders travel down to the Southside parade, Beverly residents can’t stand it. They thought the parade was perfect when it wasn’t popular and it was just them, their cousins, and they’re cousins’ cousins. If the 300,000 “out of control” parade go-ers all lived from in the 60643 zip code, I’m sure the parade would be scheduled for 2010. Bottom-line, it’s the biggest event the neighborhood has to offer, and it draws people to your hood and promotes you among the many areas of this great city. So if it’s getting bigger, you expand the area, get more police support, invest in greater clean up,…that’s what you do if you want to have a great event the whole city can enjoy. But if you want to have a celebration that only Beverly is invited to attend, then I guess you have scrap the whole thing and think of something new, which is exactly what they did.

When Keepin it Real Comes Up Short

Whoop That Trick Wednesdays
Dateline: We all love nightriders but...

With great sorrow and sincere regret, I am forced to proceed today in whooping the biggest trick of the week for Wednesday. I say this because I never thought, in the life of this blog that I would be whooping Charles Barkley. But after his appearance on ESPN radio’s Waddle and Silvy show yesterday morning, I am left with little recourse. I love Charles Barkley. In my opinion, he’s one of the funniest personalities in American sports, and because of nothing more than charisma and a refreshing sense of brutal honesty; Barkley has become one of the most respected sports analysts. Whether it’s calling all-stars like Dirk Nowitzki and Pau Gasol “soft” on national TV, openly discussing and defending his inordinate gambling habit, or pushing his political agenda as a staunch black conservative republican, Sir Charles is renowned, and in many ways admired for “keeping it real.” So after he was arrested December 31st, early New Year’s Eve morning in Arizona for a DUI, I expected him to continue to “keep it real” once returning to the broadcast circuit. But during a segment yesterday on Waddle and Silvy yesterday, Chuck showed the unfortunate side of “keeping it real” that often goes unnoticed. And I feel he got a free pass because I have yet to hear anyone call him out on it.

Tom Waddle addressed Barkley’s DUI and asked him quite generally, how was life after the arrest and subsequent punishment. Barkley quickly explained his actions as a mistake of poor judgment that he was sorry for, but he found a way to keep it real and sound somewhat contrite simultaneously. During his longwinded aside to the listeners, he summed up what he learned from his run in with the law and his opinions on drunk driving. Here are the notable exerts moments in which the realness was on full display.

“It was a stupid thing. It was a really stupid thing, and I just tell people now, be really really careful when you drink and drive.” ---What? Isn’t he supposed to say I tell people from now on you should never drink and drive? No, Barkley keeps its real, he knows people will continue to do it, why be a hypocrite.

“I’ve been in and around the NBA since 1984…so we’re talking 25 years, so probably a hundred times a year, or more, let’s be realistic, I have went out to dinner, and had something to drink,[and driven home] so we’re talking thousands of times, and for me not to get a DUI or not hurt somebody, me going to jail for the weekend was really a blessing in disguise…so many people do it…I think I got away very lucky in that situation…I know me getting a DUI can’t ever happen again, but I’m not going to be a hypocrite and get on here and say that from now on, if I have one or two drinks, I’m not going to drive.” What? Isn’t he supposed to at least say HE will never drink and drive again? No Barkley is too real, he knows he’s still going to booze from time to time, and everybody has had 1 or 2 drinks and then driven somewhere, but not been drunk. No big deal.

Barkley kept it real, and many people viewed it as a sincere testimonial, very much expected from the likes of Charles Barkley. The problem is, Barkley’s DUI was in no way similar to the drinking and driving he discussed in during the radio segment. According to Scottsdale police, Barkley – who was pulled over for running a stop sign – was a drunken man pursuing nothing more than your average nightrider.
“He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat,” the officer said. "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job. He then explained that she had given him a 'blow job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

Sir Charles, smashed and sweaty after his DUI arrest DEc 31st, 2008.

Case in point, Barkley didn’t go out to dinner and have a few drinks, he was Smashed. In fact, he was so smashed that despite his being a famous black man, he felt so comfortable with police that he sparked up a conversation about blowjobs during a traffic stop. He was so smashed that the shenanigans didn’t stop when he went to the police station, as you can see by the mug shot in which he looks like he’s trying to hold in his drunken laughter. Now I must admit, this story is hilarious, and it speaks to how funny a guy Barkley really is. Also, as per this blog’s profile, I cannot hate. Barkley was following up on an extremely important prospect when he got the DUI, the best B.J. of all time certainly sounds like an invitation worth rsvp’ing, even if it requires a chauffeuring oneself in order to collect. But I have to whoop Charles on this one for implying that his DUI is similar to that which he spoke of on Waddle and Silvy yesterday. If you’re 45 years old, drinking alone, and then driving around town for blowjobs (albeit extremely good ones, can’t stress that enough) you didn’t just “make a mistake”, you have a serious problem. You could kill some damn body or yourself over a blow job. You’re Charles Barkley, tell her to come to your house, if she whines, just pay for her cab. I am a strong advocate for nightriders, and tapping into that resource when you’ve become well intoxicated, but if you’re going to keep it real, keep it real on the radio. Because you all but guaranteed that the next time you’re in Scottsdale and horny, you will be riding out the same way.

They've got spirit, How 'bout you?

So this is America's game? America's past time? I can not and will not believe that, not after America's latest showing in the World Baseball Classic. Once again the championship game excluded Team USA and once again the tournament was won by Japan. But the lack of a presence during international tournaments is not exclusive to the World Baseball Classic, aside from the 2000 Summer Games, Team USA is an utter failure. So what gives? Where is the outrage from the people?

When basketball's Team USA slipped up in a few international tournaments and one Olympic games, the public, media and those who make a living through basketball identified a problem and sought a solution. The problem: How can the National Basketball Association be the home of the world champions if the brand of basketball played in America/the NBA was not the absolute best in the world? The solution: David Stern gets, perhaps the games best team builder, Jerry Colangelo, to run operations for Team USA's new effort. Jerry Colangelo then built a new team with a new creed, brick by brick to reestablish USA's global dominance in basketball. And he did so by getting the NBA's absolute best (Kobe Byrant, Chris Paul, Lebron James) to commit, really commit to the name on the front of the jersey with one common goal. The stars of that team bought into a new system and cast their egos aside for the sake of winning and win they did. USA dominated en route back to the top proving that America could not win just with talent but also needed dedication.

Which brings me back to the World Baseball Classic. Last night while watching the championship game between Korea and Japan, I perked my ears up during an interview with Bud Selig and announcers Joe Morgan, Steve Phillips and Jon Miller. The announcers were talking with the commissioner about how to improve Team USA to ensure a better showing by the team in the future of this tournament.

Steve Phillips proposed players commit earlier and begin their training for the tournament in roughly February in order to be prepared for the tournament and avoid the lash of injuries and poor showings by team USA this year. It was initially met with praise by Bud Selig before Joe Morgan began a rant against such an idea, saying it would be too much to ask of those selected players. Why? Are these players not getting some compensation for participating in the tournament? So why is it too much to ask these players to prepare a little earlier than usual? Why do the dedicated need not apply?

If USA baseball wants to become a legitimate force internationally they need to take Steve Phillips' advice and build on that by using the mold created by the NBA and Jerry Colangelo. Rather than create a team for an event, build a program for dominance and growth of the game. If the stars are not eager to fill this role then finding players who are in the minors (rising stars) will be hard, seeing as they jumped at chances to play for teams like Mexico, Italy and the Netherlands. All Team USA would need is one star to commit to the cause and lead by example and sell the tournament. But if there is no star willing to do so, USA once upon built a hockey program consisting of college students to take down the mighty U.S.S.R.

Bud Selig is onto something with the WBC, as evidence by how the well the tournament has been received in all other competing countries. What would take this tournament and ultimately to another level is the success of Team USA.

Really A Rod? Really?

What's missing in each of these photographs? That's right, a cell phone. The four pictures of baseball superstar Alex Rodriguez are nothing more than the rich man's version of someone's MySpace profile picture. The pictures are supposed to be for a spread in Vogue magazine, but how didn't Rodriguez ask himself, 'what the hell am I doing?' as he literally looked at himself in the mirror.

What is most surprising about it all is that Rodriguez is perhaps the most image conscious professional since Michael Jordan, so taking and letting these photos be released is especially shocking. The photos seem more like a desperate ploy from a struggling young actor trying to make a name for themself in Hollywood (look for a video of Cameron Diaz dancing topless at a photo shoot for proof), and NOT the actions of a megarich famous superstar such as Alex Rodriguez. Alex you said you were, 'young and dumb' when you juiced up, so what on earth is your excuse for these pictures?

Late is better than never, Tuesday Tutorial

Baseball is America's past time and Chicago's great divider (not Madison street). The battle between the Northside and Southside is fought out six times a year when the Chicago Cubs and Sox play at Wrigley and U.S. Cellular. Both teams have been around since baseball's inception and both teams have endured a title drought of at least 85 years. Prior to interleague play the only time these two teams stepped on the same field was during spring training, as an exhibition. But for some reason this rivalry has survived the 90+ years between the last meaningful game (a World Series match-up) and interleague play. But why?

In a city known for taking care of its own it is hard for me to swallow the fact that half the city can so easily turn its back on and hate one of their own. I am a fan of BOTH the Cubs and the Sox and have been since around age eight when I started following the sport of baseball.

My generation (born in 1985) had two teams worth watching, doesn't mean both teams were good though. The Sox were the better team in the 90s, fielding a team led by franchise great Frank Thomas, that could have made a run at the championship had it not been for the strike. The Cubs gave you Ryne Sandberg, Hall of Famer, Mark Grace, most hits of the 1990s, and Sammy Sosa. So as a kid, why choose one or the other?

Being a fan of both teams is much easier than you would think. Infact coming up with reasons to hate the crosstown rival is harder than you would think (concrete reasons). Both teams have owners who are passionate about baseball and above all else want championships for their team (once the Cubs are sold this will be true). Our involved owners care, evident in the fact that they shell out over $100,000,000 annually for their payrolls. The general managers care about the product they put on the field, meaning not only do they seek high talented players but in doing so there is no lack of star power on the field whenever either team plays. And each stadium provides an experience unique to Chicago. Wrigley Field is tradition and the Cell is blue collar, though different both are vital in one's experience of the city of Chicago.

Now me writing this blog does not make Chris de Luca right, who wrote the rivalry is dying between the North and Southside, because it's not. This is merely just one Chicago fan's opinion. The rivalry is alive and well as seen when fans of the Cubs take it personally when Carlos Zambrano says he could pitch on the Southside because he grew up a Sox fan and is friends with Ozzie Guillen. But in this fan's opinion it's hogwash. Go to Wrigley and cheer for the Cubs! Go to the Cell and root for the Sox! And when they play each other, just sit back and enjoy the show.

I've Got Hobbies Too

Whoop That Trick Wednesdays: Dateline--Signs of Summer seen everywhere, especially in the Hood.

Yesterday was a surprisingly warm day in the city of Chicago. Despite recent temperatures this month as low as 33 and temperatures this coming week expected to be no higher than 55, March 17th, 2009 was a beautiful sunny, 70 degrees for St. Patrick’s Day in the city of the Chi. In a city like ours, where the Winters, Springs, and Autumns can be particularly brutal, unexpected warm weather days are greatly appreciated by all, and downright celebrated by many. I personally love these days because you get to engage in warm weather activities for one day to wet your appetite for the summer. So just for a day, all the signs of winter that have become a daily routine vanish, and all the signs of summer reappear. Here are the most important things to note in each of both categories. The good and bad of what goes away for a day and what comes back.

Gone for a Day (Good)
*Coats--good
*Spaceheaters in the office--better
*1000s of Girls Wearing Ugg boots--best

Gone for a Day (Bad)
*Excuses to be lazy and not go outside--bad
*Hard Nipples--worse

Back for a Day (Good)
*Sunglasses--good
*Playing catch outside--better
*Titties--best (by far)

Back for a Day (Bad)
* Oversized "fashionable" women's sunglasses--bad
* Small talk about how nice the weather is--worse
* Gangbangers--worst (by far)
___________
If you happened to be in K Town, Humboldt, Englewood, Stony, Pilsen, or even downtown (it seems like) yesterday chances are you witnessed a dramtic uptick in gangbanging. Though it may of gone unnoticed because you were busy paying attention to how gorgeous it was outside, if you were in the hood at any point yesterday, you probably noticed all of your familiar yet subtle reminders, e.g. the fitted hat with a massive watch on the bill, the 12 year old walking around a crowded street with a baseball bat, but no ball or glove, and the good old fashioned prolonged hard look and stare down at a random red light. It's no secret gangbangers hate the cold. Now that doesn't mean that they love the heat, but they celebrate an unexpected warm day the same as the rest of us. They throw on the fresh clothes that they haven't touch in a few months, and give everyone around them a little taste of the summer.

Gangbangers shown here clearly less enthusiastic due to the cold temperatures which they're forced to endure in order to gangbang effectively.

Now I am not taking time here to crusade against gangbangers, but I'm definitely whoopin that trick for their hypocrisy on this one. Anyone who has ever met, or been confronted by a gangbanger may notice that they often impose their gangbanging into all social situations. Thus, even if they're in a setting in which no other gangs are present and they don't even know the people in the room,... odds are they will still distribute hard looks, show you their gang signs, and instruct everyone present how to wear their respective hats in a fierce, militant manner.

But apparently, this practice of being perpetually "hard" takes a 4 month hiatus because of a ill-favored weather? That's not hard at all, but soft. Gangbangers often claim that their gang affiliation is a way of life. But it seems to be more like a seasonal sport, like baseball in Summer or football in Fall. Whoop that trick. It isn't a way of life if you only do it when it's nice outside, it's merely an interest. From now on, I am refering to gangbanging as strictly a "hobby".

How Informed Are You?

To our loyal readers (and those stumbling upon the blog), enter Buse's Tournament Pick 'Em challenge. Entry is free at Yahoo.com, once there click on the sports tab on the left portion of the screen, then search for our group by clicking join custom league. The name of the group and bracket is buse-news.blogspot.com. The league ID# is 134797 and the password is apartment. Sign up and see how your picks stack up against those of Gray and Beans.

From Now On, Thursday should be the "new Monday"

Monday Mullings: When am I going to fill this thing out....

Of the many holidays that have been named in the United States, the federal government recognizes 10. So even though you may take off work for Boxing day because you’re Canadian or Earth day because you’re a weirdo, there are only 10 bonafide dates where everyone in D.C. will be taking the day off work along with you. I don’t need to detail the list, but it consists of a couple of noteworthy birthdays, two dates set aside to honor our veterans, the date our country was founded, and the end of the year trifecta of Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Years. I got to thinking this morning about whether or not other holidays will ever be added to this list, or if any existing holidays will be removed. The more I thought about it, the more it became apparent, that there should be a new holiday added, that no one can really complain about. It’s called Bracket Day. Yes, I’m proposing that we devote a day of rest to the first day of the NCAA men’s basketball tournament, but I’m not just doing so because I love to watch it. Similar holidays exist in other countries, and it really wouldn’t be that crazy in my opinion. Here’s why.

Many countries around the world celebrate Carnival, the international phenomenon localized here in the US and referred to as Mardi Gras. Its roots are in the Roman Catholic Calendar, and coincide with the arrival of Lent, a 40 day period of fasting, sacrifice, and intense prayer. Because Lent is intended to prepare a Christian for the most important day of the year, Easter, the 40 days and 40 nights a Christian spends fasting can be pretty intense. Thus, for no other reason than to binge and purge, the Carnival festival originated in France as nothing more than a way to get all the partying, boozing, and debauchery out of one’s system before Lent. Today, Carnival is celebrated in almost every continent on Earth and is assigned a number of days of rest, parades, and the whole nizzy. It falls right in the middle of the week, and the partying doesn’t end until Fat Tuesday, the day before Lent begins. Though it is strongly connected to a religious calendar, Carnival is a weeklong party. Don’t get it twisted. In most countries, it’s a state sponsored, citizen morale boosting party, that if nothing else, allows every man and woman the chance to kick back and relax for MULTIPLE days.

The U.S. doesn’t have a holiday like this. Our separation of church and state makes it impossible for us to celebrate a holiday such as Carnival. (even though we have Xmas)All of our current holidays are tied into our nation’s history, or honoring a sector of our nation’s people. None are arbitrary, none are designated for a hobbies, pastimes, or particular forms of entertainment. Additionally, none are in the middle of the week. Sure we get Mondays off for King day, Columbus, and Labor, but I feel like every single Wednesday and Thursday of this year, I will be expected to be at work.

Wackness. And I think Bracket Day takes care of all that. Give every man in this country a Thursday off to sit on his couch and watch basketball all day. The social magnitude of March Madness is as big as the Super Bowl and the excitement lasts for a whole month. So instead of every sports fan clicking away from highlights to a spread sheet when their boss walks by in the office, give them a day off to chill and watch it in piece. If you don’t like basketball, take the opportunity to see what the world looks like on a Thursday when you’re not sitting at your desk thinking about Friday. I’m proud to live in a country that doesn’t take many days off; it means that we’re on the grind constantly. But if the rest of the world gets a week of Carnival, we can get one Thursday. And if they’re looking for a good reason, Bracket Day is as good as any.

It's About Time

The benefits of a healthy sex life are by now well known facts. Sex is a great stress reliever, keeps your immune system strong and aides in sleep among other things. But for as long as the church has had a soapbox to preach upon it has been preaching on the evils of sex and the need to avoid it (in any capacity- unless you were concieve a child while married) at all costs for the purity of your soul. So it is extremely relieving to see that a church, in Alabama of all places, is trying to distance itself from this tradition.

Now I do completely understand why the church preaches against lust and named it one of the seven deadly sins. I also understand why God's Law included the commandment, 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife'. Nor am I telling the church to rethink its stance on what types of sex are not sinful in God's eyes. Homosexual intercourse will always be wrong before the church, as will premarital and that is fine! The church can and should define good and bad sex but once defined instead of harping on the negatives as the church so often does, why not celebrate the positives? The reluctancy to celebrate the gift God bestowed upon man while trying to procreate ought to be celebrated!

So I am glad Pastor Jerry Lawson of Day Star Church has gone public with this message. Now I know the billboards are a publicity stunt to get Mr. Lawson's church some publicity but that does not change the fact that the message is a good one, that needs to be pounded into the heads of Christians who do not hear enough about good sex. So thank you Jerry Lawson, it's about time someone took drastic measures to get the word out.

07', 08', 09'...3 Years Running, Deadly School Shootings, early Spring Semester

Thorough Thursdays--Dateline: Crazy People hate being called crazy.
All the facts have not come out yet about this horrifying student shooting in Winnenden, Germany, but the ones that have are scary as hell. In case you have not heard somehow, yesterday, Tim Kretschmer, a 17 year old, stole a pistol and several boxes of ammunition from his father’s collection and traveled to his former school, Albertville-Realschule. He opened fire in three classrooms, and when police arrived and exchanged fire with him, he fled the scene but continued to shoot and kill others during his attempt to evade authorities. After nearly 2 hours of rampage, this kid left 15 people dead before either killing himself, or dying from a wound inflicted by police gunfire, that has yet to be determined. Though he used 60 rounds of ammunition, police say he was not shooting wildly, as he hit most of his victims in the head. 11 of the 12 victims shot at the school were women, including 8 students and 3 teachers.

According to police, who have begun to investigate every detail of this kid’s life, the night before the attacks, he had an online conversation with an unknown user. Since the user was unknown, it leads me to believe it was a random screen name from any number of German chat rooms. But apparently he warned that user that,

"Everyone laughs at me. No one recognizes my potential. I mean this seriously. I have got a weapon here and tomorrow I am going to go to my former school and give them hell. "

Whoever he was speaking with replied in a sarcastic tone something to the effect of, I’ll believe it when I see it buddy, and Kretschmer assured him further saying

“Maybe I would escape, keep your ear to the ground. You'll hear from me tomorrow morning. Just notice the name of the place, Winnenden. Don't say anything to the police."SCARY

Every time this happens, we dismiss these people as crazy. The media brings up their trouble they had making friends in school, violent video games and music, getting made fun of, and a dysfunctional family. But it seems like the people engaging in these insane killing sprees are getting less and less insane. The killers from Columbine were outcasts at their preppy high school, but weren’t loners in any way, belonging to a “trench coat mafia” that students said 4 other members belonged to. Like Chris Rock said, “In the year book there was 6 of em’. I ain’t have 6 friends in high school….I don’t even have 6 friends now.” The kids were disturbing at the time, but did not belong in a nuthouse beforehand. They were just weirdoes going to school like everyone else. They weren’t crazy, they just had crazy potential.

The gunman from NIU Steven Kazmierczak was an Illinois grad student. He was outgoing, he had a decent job, he used to take anti depressants and seemed distant in the weeks prior according to his girlfriend, but there’s nothing alarming here until he drives to DeKalb and goes off. Again, not crazy, but crazy potential.

Tim Kretschmer, gunman from Winnended, Germany.
Then there’s Tim Kretschmer from Wednesday’s shooting in Germany. He had no history of violence or bad behavior, was a loner in class but he’d since moved on from the school and began working, and because of his tough time at Albertville-Realschule, he clearly resented the students and teachers who attend class and work there. He has trouble with girls, as many 17-year olds do, and because he was never a popular kid, he feels slighted and he tells a stranger, that no one takes him seriously, or appreciates his potential. Once again, an unfortunate, but common situation. A 17-year old confused about his self-esteem and upset that people don’t appreciate his character. But suddenly, the next day he kills 15 people, 11 of them women by shooting most of them in the head. He wasn’t crazy, but he had crazy potential, and it became all too kinetic yesterday morning.

When a kid or teenager gets ripped on or disrespected, it can suck. In your formative years, the desire to be well-liked by peers is one of, if not the strongest motives by which we make decisions in our young lives. When you are on the bottom of that spectrum, and you lose hope that your peers will like you, the disappointment gets internalized and the person who experiences that is inclined to harbor feelings of resent and self-pity. The only way for those feelings to be externalized is through hoping and wishing that one day, the people who made you feel so bad will be sorry for treating you that way and regret their actions in the past. Some people grow up and get over wishing for revenge, some move on to get makeovers, boob jobs, and then they’re on the Maury Show talking about I used to be a Geek, but now I’m Super Chic, and apparently some, who have the resources to take revenge, (i.e. Lots of guns and lots of ammo) do so, immediately.

I do not label these kids as crazy, I label them as common. And in the US, in Germany, and many other countries, common people are entitled to the right to own a gun as long as you’re not crazy, and you have no felonies or have never been in a mental institution. But some common people have crazy potential. There are a lot of angry people who would love to take revenge on those who’ve wronged them. So why provide them with a quick, cheap, and deadly resource to do so?

Get Em..

For the first whoopin' you get a double dose, Kid Grey has taken the paddle to a few celebrities in regards to their ridiculous stances on the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation. And in this short week I too have taken issue with a few people in the news.

Donald Trump: I did not intend to bring up that infamous beating again but could not help doing so when I read in the Chicago Sun-Times that Donald Trump said Rihanna would not only be deemed a loser in his eye but he would wish her no future success for doing so. Now Donald Trump may be America's "favorite" CEO but Rihanna's decision is not something being presented to the board. Had he something along the lines of, 'Going back to Brown is a decision that would be counterproductive to her growth as a person and I would be disappointed to see a woman of her resources would do so' then I would have no complaints because he, as the rest of the nation has, would have simply just made his opinion known.

Trump to deeming her a loser and wishing no future success to Rihanna is ridiculous. Donald before going off the deep end with your statements (again) take a look in the mirror. You are already a two time LOSER in love (the very topic you are criticizing Rihanna in), but that did not stop you from marrying your third wife. So maybe you ought remember what is in your closet before publicly attacking someone. You're fired bro.

Vinny Del Negro: I know you are a rookie head coach, but come on Vinny! Your decisions at the end of games are costing the Chicago Bulls a chance at the 6 seed in the Eastern Conference. By now everyone has seen or read about Dwayne Wade's game against the Bulls Monday night, but what they don't know about it is, Vinny elected not to foul at the end of regulation letting Wade get the chance to tie the game from 3. He also was unable to draw up a play that would have got the ball into his best player's hands (Derrick Rose) just before Wade stole the ball from John Salmons. The last 2 games the Bulls played against Miami, Vinny has coached the Bulls to loses. I have been willing to take the punches this season because the Bulls best player is a rookie as is their coach. But with Rose and the rest of the team making progress, it's time I see Vinny actually help the Bulls win a game versus cost the Bulls game. Step your game up Vinny.

Thomas Morphey: The step brother to Drew Peterson (the person of interest in the disappearance of his wife, Stacey) gave an exclusive interview to the Chicago Sun-Times regarding the mysterious blue bin Drew removed his house roughly 17 months ago. I am in effect whoopin' this trick because 17 months? Seriously? It took you 17 months to come out with the suspicions you have of your step brother?

Now sure you were probably issued a gag order by police investigating the disappearance, but while reading your story I couldn't help but put myself in your shoes. There were a few comments that made me raise my eyebrows, such as you (and the rest of your family) already suspected he killed his third wife and you called him out on that. How do you continue to affiliate with someone who you suspect murdered his first wife (even though it had been ruled a suicide by police)? Then you were allegedly asked by Drew if you would help him murder Stacey, and if not, if you could live with knowing he had done so. You said you couldn't help, so you're not completely soulless but said you would be alright with knowing a murderer, who you suspect had blood on his hands already.

I don't know about you Mr. Morphey but murderers scare me. I want nothing to do with their kind. Ever. The fact that you had a threat on someone elses life communicated to you and you did nothing about it, tells me you're a scumbag just a ring above Peterson (who most likely did kill his past 2 wives but that is for the police to decide and courts to prove). You're catching a whoopin' not because I don't believe your story but because I believe you are a prime example of humanity gone wrong.

Tricks ice your rears and shape up, or you'll probably return soon after (Kanye has already made 2 appearances).

Often Times, the First Opinions are the Worst Opinions

Whoop That Trick Wednesdays--Dateline: too much Diddy on my google news this Morning.

As soon as the Rihanna, Chris Brown story surfaced on February 8th many smart celebrities declined comment, or simply said they wish the couple the best through this rough time. But a select few took the opportunity to defend Chris Brown using the age old sentiments of “innocent until proven guilty”, “let’s wait until the facts come out before we judge them”, “the only people who know what happened that night are Chris and Rihanna rhetoric”. As if the fallout and the loss of his major endorsements weren’t enough to indicate that Brown is in a lot of trouble, Terrance Howard, Kanye West, and Diddy publically issued statements that assign them to the position of siding with Brown. Now this is not a huge deal since their careers will never be hurt by it, but I can’t stand when celebrities confuse prejudging with good old fashioned judging.

On Feb 12th, Terrance Howard was asked what he thought about Chris Brown and Rihanna’s altercation and he replied, “It’s just life man. Chris is a great guy, he’ll be alright. And they’ll be alright, everybody just has to get out of their way.”

On Feb 13th, in an aside to the audience in at a taping of VH1’s Storytellers, Kanye West said,“Cant we give Chris Brown a break? I know I make mistakes in life.” (which wasn’t that bad until he kept talking) "Michael Jackson, amazing. Michael Phelps, amazing ... He's a real f---in' person; he makes mistakes. O.J. Simpson, amazing. Is he not? What he did, when he did, what he did. Was he not amazing, though?"

On March 10th, Diddy, in an appearance on the Ellen Degeneres show discussed the incident saying,saying he allowed the couple to reunite in his Miami Beach Mansion because he wanted to “be a friend in a time of need.” He discussed the altercation saying“I don't cast a judgment on anybody. We know sometimes relationships get ugly ... we don't know exactly what's going on [with them]."

Let me be the first to say that there is nothing wrong with casting judgment. The term "judgement" is tossed around these days as if judging people is arrogant, and a practice reserved only for God, and actual judges in the court of law, who do so in one case by divine right, or as a service to society. Because of that, when someone, mainly a celebrity, gets in trouble with the law, the companies that they work for or endorse will often release statements about not making a decision on that celebrities future until a trial has played out. Implying that they cannot judge the individual themselves, but must wait for a an actual court judge to do so. F that way of thinking. Judging is a practice we all have to, and should want to engage in, so do it, as long as you have evidence that’s up to your standards.

Pre-judging is the only thing I have a problem with, and in the case of Chris Brown and Rihanna the line between judging and prejudging is not so blurry. The picture, his remorseful statement, and the fact that hes seeking a plea deal to avoid jail time is all the evidence I need. “He doesn’t wrestle, he fucking beats bitches up” like Coral from the Real World. Thus, I can judge him as such and decided whether or not he’s good enough to play on my radio, act in my movies, or sell my company’s gum.

So in the spirit of good old fashioned judging, I’m going to whoop these tricks individually by judging them using the evidence they’ve provided.

Diddy, is narcissistic. This is evident by the fact that celebrities stay at his Miami Beach mansion for short vacations all the time. He has been known to rent it out for periods of time as well. He didn’t extend his mansion to be a friend in need, it was business as usual. But he saw the chance to promote his role in their reconciliation and let us know that Diddy is a ‘friend in a time of need."

Kanye is out of his mind. Arguing for Brown to receive the benefit of the doubt is one thing, but he draws the worst analogies of all time. O.J. isn’t amazing; he WAS an amazing running back, who is either responsible for or guilty of committing his wife’s murder. Michael Jackson isn’t amazing, he WAS an amazing entertainer, who harbors an extremely disturbing fascination with the companionship of young boys. Defending the two of them and relating it to Chris Brown is just another example of Kanye being outrageous for outrageousness’ sake.

Terrance Howard is an unrepentant wifebeater. He beat his wife, and when asked about domestic abuse he replied, “It’s just life man.”

Terrance Howard mug shot 2001

See, I just judged three people and it was easy as hell.

Utilitarianism: a Tutorial by Gray

Tuesday Tutorials--Dateline: last night, while bending down to feed my dog and bumping my head on table.

A friend recently sent me an article with a compelling debate. In it, the author noted that the same ideas and principles that made the Bush Administration so reviled, are being used by the Obama administration and winning him great praise. The author’s example was straight up thought provoking. I don’t know where I stand about the topic, but the prompt led me to talk about my philosophy. Here’s a tutorial on how to be a Utilitarian.

The author talked about how for years the left complained about Bush’s stance on torture/interrogation in the war on terror….the left’s reasoning, War on Terror: It's possible to save lives without crossing a moral line that might corrupt us. They rejected Bush’s rationale to obtain intelligence from suspected terrorists by any means necessary. The moral query here is, how much ruthless violence should we use to defeat ruthless violence?

However, he then went on to talk about stem cell research. This time arguing that the Left is now guilty of applying Bush rationale to the advancement of science. Obama is seen as progressive in that he is backing the federal funding of stem cell research, but the Left’s reasoning for this is similar to the rationale that Liberal’s disagree with when it comes to the war on terror: Stem Cells: We’re in a life and death struggle against disease, and stem cell research is an option to combat that. We must defeat disease by any means necessary. The moral question here is, creating and destroying embryos for the sake of life, how many people, in the name of life, are you willing to surrender to death?


Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Morality is complicated as hell, so when I heard about this guy named John Stuart Mill, I adopted his philosophy instantly. I’m not an atheist or anything extreme like he was, but when it comes to social matters I go with Utilitarianism.

Utilitarianism is a philosophy based on utility, the economic principle of greater monetary value. For people and society, value is measured in happiness. Thus, Mill decides what we should and should not do based on what will result in the greater overall human happiness, not just of oneself, but a anticipatory inclination on how your acts, decisions, and beliefs affect the entire world’s happiness. It sounds lofty and unreasonable, but it works, and I’ll show you how with some major issues. I’ll give you my stance on the major issues in our society, and show how they have nothing to do with my religious or political affiliation, but only happiness.
Death Penalty:---For it.—Yea, it’s a perfect penalty in a justice system that is imperfect, which makes it unfair. However, John Wayne Gaysey, Jeffry Dalhmer, Timothy McVay…..kill them. With un-repented murderers, it will bring greater happiness to the victims’ families to know that these people are no longer walking the earth, than to nay-sayers that feel all ppl can be rehabilitated.
Abortion----For it. Yea, plenty of people want to adopt, but there will never be a shortage of babies in the world. If a kid is conceived and will be born into a horrible situation with an unfortunate future, the greater happiness lies with the parents not having to deal with that situation more so than the people who will be happy if the baby is born into a shitty life just because “life begins at conception.”
Native American Mascots in Sports---Against it—Yea they look cool, and draw back on a school or university’s heritage. But bottom line, that’s the Native American equivalent to a minstrel show, black-face. Just because you don’t see Native Americans every day, don’t mean they aren’t there and pissed and offended as hell. Outlawing those mascots result in greater happiness for them as they are not reminded of their painful American history,…much more happiness than the fans who simply get a kick out of seeing a mascot at a game.
Denim on the Basketball court---Against it,--Yea I know you want to hoop and you forgot your shoes and shorts, but there’s change in your pocket, you’re sweating more than usual, and it hurts when you bump into me in your heavily starched Roc-a-Wears…if you have nothing but a Lacoste Polo and matching jean jacket, sit this one out. The greater happiness lies with the people who can enjoy a true pickup game, without your denim sucking all the energy out of the gym.

Remember when...?

Instead of mulling over what was written today you may feel a bit nostalgic instead, because at some point in nearly every 20-30 something year old male's life Sportscenter staked a claim on your list of top 3 television shows. Which sounds weird because Sportscenter was never meant to be a traditional television show, instead it was the sports fan's nightly news. Your chance to catch up on what not only your local and/or favorite team had done, but also see what those teams in the same division had done. And on top of that, it would be presented to you with highlights of the game versus reading an article about the game in the paper or checking out a box score.

The format proved to be incredibly successful and with many airings per day, ESPN launched commercials asking the public which Sportscenter they watched and had your favorite athlete proclaiming which time slot he got his daily 'news' fix. I watched show after show soaking up all the statistics I could and was often disappointed when Dan Patrick and Keith Olberman, or whoever the night's anchors were, signed off.

The action of Sportscenter was unmatched by any other program and the shows success put ESPN on the map. It quickly became the worldwide leader in sports, obtaining the airing rights to every major sport in America and eventually branching out to other demographics with ESPN Deportes. But as ESPN expanded, the simple format previously employed by the company changed and slowly Sportscenter began morphing into a telecast more about the athletes and stories surrounding sports versus the actual games being played.

It now happens too often where Sportscenter is turned on and instead of seeing the action from a game (great or not) of the night from any number of sports, we as viewers are bombarded with stories about steroids, Terrel Owens, Spy Gate and such. I understand the need to report on said topics because they are extremely relevant. But when a show that is meant to document, report on, and show the public of the daily goings on in sports moves further and further away from the game, I take issue with that.

ESPN has numerous channels devoted to sports that air 24/7, 365 days a year, so finding another time slot for those sensational stories of the day should not be a problem. Give me the highlights and in depth analysis of EVERY game from the night. That is why i choose to tune into Sportscenter and what made it my favorite show for years while growing up, not because I must be updated every five minutes on whether or not Brett Favre is retiring or not.

I still remember those good old days, when the back drop at Sportscenter was a boring tan and the anchors gave me my HIGHLIGHTS from a boring simple set. I miss my old Sportscenter where anchors constantly made me laugh with witty catch-phrases as I watched in awe when, for example, Randy Johnson struck out 17 batters in a losing effort against the A's. The game was what mattered most and that was when Sportscenter was golden.

What changed? I don't know, maybe it was the internet? Maybe it was our demand? Advertising demands? Maybe it was a combination or other unseen forces? Regardless, it changed. And the change was/is not for the better.

Don't you miss that tan set with anchors who sat behind their desk for the entire show giving you not only information but highlights, the television's box score? I know I do.

Really? Is that the Real Name?

FUNNY PHOTO FRIDAYS

Really? The Latino Express? Am I the only one who feels a little uneasy when I see a yellow school bus packed with Hispanic kids peering out the window with a decal below that so accurately describes their ethnicity and the way by which they travel. I mean, I don’t know if there is any historical significance behind it, but to me that’s like naming the school bus in the black neighborhood the Soul Train or the Freedom Ride, maybe naming the school bus in Jewish neighborhood the Kosher Carriage. I’m not saying it’s racist, but it’s hella provoking is it not? Maybe it’s named that way to ensure that no Mexicans or Puerto Ricans accidentally get on the wrong bus. Maybe the moniker is used to drive a point home about the rising Latino population in Chicago, perhaps the more people see buses with Latino Express on them, and they’ll realize that Chicago is somewhat of a superhighway for minorities.

Regardless of the significance my point is this. When I was in grade school, my buses were always packed, 2 or 3 to a seat so that the school would not have to pay for more than 1 or 2 buses per field trip. Which means that kids have to cram into these slow moving buses correct? Don’t Latinos have a few hang-ups about that whole “packing a lot of people into a crowded, raggedy, slow moving car” stereotype? I don’t think it’s best to draw attention to that. Then again, I’m black, and the Soul Train school bus is starting to sound better and better the more I think about it.

Hip Hop's Playing both Sides like Sean Connery

THOROUGH THURSDAYS
Dateline: Me in the car, driving to the gym last night. Too much Kiss FM.

Keeping it thorough is always important on Thursdays, and I am compelled to spit out a thorough explanation of why music is so garbage right now. Somewhere along the line, music genre lines became distorted. And the music industry is apparently full of line steppers, to borrow a phrase from Charlie Murphy, they’re “habitual line-steppers”, I mean they just love crossing over. And the crossover song, in my opinion, has bastardized the music that young people listen to. Particularly, hip hop.

Now there is nothing wrong with crossovers, in which the best of two sounds come together, i.e. rock and rap, blues and gospel, folk and punk. Often times, two artists from two different genres collaborating can produce some of the best music ever heard. But since the turn of the millennium, there have simply been far too many attempts to make this happen. I don’t know if it’s the labels, the A.R.’s or the actual artists who are responsible, but every Tom, Dick, and Harry, as well as every Kim Sue, and Sally that’s ever picked up a microphone is getting too creative for their own, and everybody else’s good.

Crossover songs have produced greatness in the past. But the failed attempts at this greatness far outnumber the successes. My problem is that somehow, these failures keep making records, and somehow I keep hearing them. For example. I hate Dave Matthews Band, but that band is unbelievably talented and the definition of crossover success, combining folk plus rock, and the unique talents of all its members to dominate the music touring world throughout the 90s. But for every DMB, there’s about 30 James Blunts….take Kid Rock, he is the definition of the genre Rock-Rap. He was a trailer-home kid in Detroit who found a way to become the only white rap DJ in clubs that happened to be in the hardest parts of town. Apparently, he showed someone he could rhyme and Jive records brought him a raw ass band with a hilarious midget, and then he rapped over rock beats and 6th-8th graders ate it up. Great story, but for every Kid Rock there’s about 55 Uncle Crackers, Limp Bizkits, and Papa Roaches.

Midgets with microphones often hilarious as depicted in this photo of Kid Rock and his stage sidekick/mentor, Joe C
______________________

Forget the artists themselves, what about the songs, in 1986, Run DMC and Aerosmith performed probably the most memorable crossover recording of all time, when they produced Walk this Way. It may sound corny by today’s standards, but rap and rock had really never been presented in the same song, and now it made black people admit that a lot of rock sounds great and love of hip hop is no reason to distance yourself from rock….it also normalized white people into thinking that rap is a major genre, not some underground fad as it was considered at the time. The song was raw because they didn’t even have to call it a damn remix, it was just a good song, and Diddy was not heard in the beginning, middle, or end constantly reminding the listener that the song is in fact a remix.…..but (and this is my major point with this rant), for every Walk this Way, there’s 1000 Right Rounds, by Flo-Rida

Right Round is one of the shittiest songs I have ever heard in the world, ever. And it’s not because I personally don’t like its beat, or its lyrics. It is just a feeble, corny ass attempt to take a wak hair band song from the 80s and turn it into the next rap-pop crossover. It sounds bad, it feels bad, and it tastes even worse. Have you ever tried to sing along to it? It leaves that dry, unsweetened, Diet Dr. Pepper aftertaste.

The song I just described is currently number 1 on the Billboard 100. Number 1!..T.I. and Justin Timberlake’s (two actually talented artists) Dead and Gone is number 2. That is completely egregious to me and cause for concern. I’m not hating on Flo-Rida for making music and selling records, I respect his hustle. But the Billboard 100 is based on airplay and record sales, AND FLO RIDA’S CD HAS NOT EVEN COME OUT YET. Meaning that based on how much we want to hear his blindingly horrible remake of Dead or Alive’s gust-bustlingly horrible original song, it is far and away the most popular song in America.

In the past 3 years, Right Round by Flo Rida, Crank that Soulja Boy, by Soulja Boy tell Em’ and Bad Day by Daniel Powter have spent hella time at the number 1 spot. I know we’re a nation that loves music, but these are all such agreeably terrible songs that if we heard them a year from now on the radio in 2010, we’d switch to the AM frequency. I’m on a crusade against Right Round and Flo-Rida, but there’s little I can do because Flo-Rida is number one according to America….sidebar—he’s clearly on HGH or anabolic steroids as well.

Complaints and Greivances

I have done some serious contemplating, and have decided to shift away from the world of sports and entertainment for just a moment to discuss society in general. Undoubtedly, the daily grind of life takes its toll on everyone, and while grinding, there are an infinite number of mildly annoying acts engaged in by others that we could all do without. Because the acts that fall under this category are so numerous, there is no point of going in depth about ones such as, ‘that hood ass dude on the bus or subway who listens to hardcore, unedited rap (mostly Plies) songs on the mp3 player on his phone loud enough for everyone to hear.’

No, I have decided to focus on complaints and grievances that directly affect the readers of this blog every day. By highlighting these activities, and describing the psyche and motives of the people who engage in them, I hope to create awareness and dialogue about these annoyances, thus encouraging the readers of this blog to act. Furthermore, I will provide an example of an individual who I am imploring to cease from exercising in said behavior.

Far from Socially Acceptable: Unprovoked, unnecessary voluntary shirt removal. I attribute much of this unfortunate phenomenon to advent of the bench press and its establishment as an essential apparatus in most health clubs and weight rooms. Bench pressing is the ultimate power lifting exercise for the upper body, thus the exercise becomes a focal point of any workout routine intended to produce jacked“ness”. While it is effective in that respect, it has a direct relationship with incidents of unprovoked, unnecessary voluntary male shirt removal.

As a person who used to struggle from this debilitating disorder, I must say that it can take over your entire state of mind. After a couple sets of bench pressing, maybe even maxing out, you just can’t help but look for an opportunity to rid yourself of those clothes. Somehow, the time you spent on that damn bench confuses you into thinking that your already revealing sleeveless tee is now confining. An individual who regularly engages in this activity will often seek out the nearest opportunity where removing a shirt is considered socially acceptable. However, these attempts are usually feeble as the urge to remove the shirt is often stronger than need to find a situation that legitimizes the behavior.

Thus what we’re left with is a rather meager attempt to show off newly acquired muscle. And more often than not, the response to such behavior tends to be negative. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure if 9 football players entered a room full of prospective women, they’d be more than happy to see their shirts removed. But the variety of shirt removal I’m crusading against is unprovoked, and quite contrived. Here’s how to keep a look out for individuals who suffer from this disorder, please point it out when you see these tell tale signs.

“All this hoopin has made this shirt useless”—this tactic can be observed in its most natural environment at the Ray Meyer student center at DePaul University in Chicago. The individual that relies on this move plays pickup basketball on a regular basis at DePaul and has no doubt noticed that a significant amount of gorgeous girls frequent the gym to exercise as well. He’s usually single, as such a feeble attempt at running game is only acceptable to those trying to cast a wide net. Moving on, the individual simply cannot play more than two games of basketball without removing his shirt and immediately at the end of a game and walking to an area of the gym where men and women often share a small space. (i.e. the water fountain, the area connecting the indoor track and basketball course) The most notable aspect of this tactic is that the shirtless individual walks to and from the designated area as if his “shirtlessness” is completely normal given the fact that he was playing ball just now. He walks confidently, avoiding eye contact with each woman, but at the same time slowly enough so that every woman gets that all important look.

I must admit when I first observed this operation, I didn’t think twice as I was in Lincoln park, near Fullerton avenue, I figured someone was headed to the beach. Then I looked out the window and quickly realized it wasn’t beach season as it was snowing outside, middle of January. The same shirt you hooped in, is more than sufficient to accompany you on your trip to the water fountain.—Gio Martinez

“Can I borrow a towel?”—This guy bench presses often and works out constantly, he goes on a lot of college visits, and subsequently he takes a lot of showers. However, he never brings his own towel, thus allowing him with plenty of shirtless face time with his host when it comes time to ask for one. This person will often remove his shirt at the slightest inclination of future showering, and then parade around shirtless until someone, preferably a hot girl provides him with a towel. After the shower, the individual will be sure return the towel in a timely fashion, such as DIRECTLY AFTER HE USES IT, ensuring that he will be seen shirtless a second time during the towel return exchange.-----Joseph Dunigan III

“No, I’ll just change right here.”—This tactic is usually deployed by an individual in a large group of people containing more than one woman, and they must be sitting in the same room. It’s important that the entire group is preparing to go to common place. (This practice has become an epidemic at many a pregame.) The guy in this situation will often make a big fuss about where the group is going, what his fellow guys are wearing, and whether or not he should change. (Those who use this tactic are often a little metro about what clothes they wear, as well as being a meat head due to their recent benching pressing.)

No one engages him in this discussion, naturally because no one cares. So soon, the subject will take it upon himself to get down to business, the shirt removal. He’ll start the process by saying something like “Well if all you guys are wearing polos, I’m not gonna wear a T-shirt, I’m gonna put on a collar.” He’ll then walk to an area where his clothes are located, but he WILL NOT CHANGE CLOTHES IN THAT ROOM, no sure enough he will return to the room with the new shirt in hand, and remove the shirt he is wearing for 3-7 seconds of no shirt time for all to see. Then the individual changes shirts as if his intentional, but unnecessary torso display went unnoticed.—Jamie Lepri

Honorable mentions:

Jogging in public while shirtless—White people
Barbecueing Shirtless, but with a grilling apron on—Black people
Driving while shirtless—Scumbags

Being shirtless in a room of moderate temperature for absolutely no reason—Rob Burc, Joe Dunigan

The purpose of this rant was education, call em how you see em, and do not accept it because it is after all, far from socially acceptable.