For the first time this school year a class of mine engaged in a compelling argument/debate. We had read a short story titled, "Girls in their Summer Dresses" and in summary it was about a man who loved looking at women. His love of looking had become so obvious that it created a problem in his marriage, and needless to say his wife wasn't very happy. In a class full of women and led by a women, who is quite the feminist, the general response was; men are pigs or men love to objectify women. I can live with being called a pig because, as a man, I know I love thinking and talking about sex. So if you want to call me dirty because my mind is, then that's kosher. However, when we talk about the objectification of women I can't agree with women and say gawking, cat calling, or any of other ways I call attention to beauty are objectification.To objectify is to treat as an object. Slavery is objectification; people actually being sold as commodities, raised and treated as property. That's true objectification so when a woman claims looking a little longer than I "should" is objectifying her, it ruffles my feathers. First, I haven't treated you as anything. The only interaction between us has been a look, nothing has been said to dehumanize you. Second, it's human nature to be inquisitive and satiate the senses, so when something that is appeasing to the eye comes into view, looking is what the body is hardwired to do. Lastly, the comments or thoughts that accompany looking are not proof of objectification (as the women in my English class overwhelmingly stated). Men are not stupid, we know women are much more than some nice lips, big breasts long legs and so forth. However, the cover is important to sparking interest in the book, so when acknowledging these 'assets' men very well may be acknowledging that a woman isn't just those things. But also is showing interest and making an attempt to get to know more about the woman with the nice lips. It's a testament to her uniqueness, something he believes sets her apart from other women.
My father, happily married for 24 years, tells my mother, "God gave me eyes to see" whenever he's 'caught' breaking his neck. Women you have eyes too, look for as long and as hard as you want, because I will never stop looking. The day I stop appreciating the beauty of women is the day I will need to be checked into a psych ward. Observation, whether orally expressed or not, does not equal objectification. Lighten up and the next time I honk, slap the side of my car or stare, respond by saying, "Thank you" because all I have done is tell you I think you're special.
2 comments:
I agree with your argument. As a woman, I have never been offended when gawked at, whistled at, or honked at. I take it as a compliment. The only time it sucks is when the guy who is doing the gawking/whistling/honking is ugly... other than that, bring it on.
A....this is the best blog post in the history of BUSE news, and that's coming from the co-author
B....women often like to exaggerate male stereotypes and turn them into harsher generalizations than they really are....i.e....men are pigs that objectify women. The fact is, there are gender roles in our society that exist not because we're chauvanists, but because we as humans are a sexually dimorphic species. Women are without question the more beautiful, attractive, sexy, sensual, and aesthetically pleasing gender...and no matter how far we progress in terms of gender equality, that fact will never change. Long looks, stares, and compliments are just the baggage that beautiful women have to carry through life,tough luck.
Now I do think some men take it too far, cat-calls, inappropriate noises, foul language, and any sort of physical contact is lewd, excessive and overall it's harrassment because sometimes positive attributes can bring forth negative attention. But aside from these cases, women should not be so bent out of shape about it.
In 23 yrs experience, when it comes to getting hit on, women seem to love the compliments when they are coming from a rich handsome gentleman,...but if delivered by a poor, ugly man...it's all of a sudden...creepy, gross, or objectification.....and the woman who commented above me can attest to that.
So men are objectifying pigs. And women are shallow bitches....either way, we're both animals that eat their own poop.
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