Double Trouble

"Double your pleasure, double your fun with..." we have all heard the Doublemint Gum jingle, courtesy of Wrigleys, informing us that double the mint truly is better. Now if double the mint is better than obviously that logic can apply to other things. Such as money- yeah it works or days off work- no complaints there and free meals- love them. But there is one thing I love dearly that will not double my pleasure or fun, girls. Girl on girl action is the most overrated cheap 'thrill' out there and I can live without it.

Now if you're a guy and reading this you probably want my man card and are questioning my sexuality. Because girl on girl is certainly the most common of male fantasies. And understandably so, because you have all those things guys love about girls times two. But really I am 23 years old now. Girls making out was cool when I was still able to count how many pubes I had. The novelty has faded away.

Two girls making out in a bar is nothing more than PDA. And what is hot about PDA? I am not getting in on the action so why would or should I care to see it? I don't. People don't go crazy and get turned on when a guy and girl make out and grope each other. In fact many think it's gross. Now for those who claim they don't want to see another guy do work, you watch porn which is chalk full of complete strangers doing far more than bumping and grinding. So there should not be a difference in opinion when two girls publicly engage each other. Bottom line, guys stop egging girls on to do this crap, it's just no kosher. And girls stop agreeing to do it, especially if you claim to be straight.

Damn Smarch

Summer time has arrived, or so the calendar says. With temperatures in the 60s and rain two or three times a week, it certainly has not felt like summer. Meaning you have to spend less time enjoying the outdoors and more time inside. So what are you doing with your time? Video games and movies are great but only in moderation. Why not blow the dust off some favorite board games? The games that you loved playing while young are still a blast, and here are the top 3 BUSE favorites.

3. CHESS 

It's a classic game, in which everyone's style is as unique as a snowflake. Whether you play with a timer or not, countless hours can be passed in pursuit of your opponents king. And surprisingly a good game of chess does lend itself to quite a bit of s--- talking. So be prepared to step your game up.

2. CHUTES & LADDERS 

Certainly not as popular as chess but still just as fun. You and

 your character (I loved being the dark skin kid doing a hand stand) race others to the blue ribbon climbing ladders while trying to avoid the chutes. There are also pitfalls and aides throughout the board that keep it being a dull point A to B game. If you don't know, now you know, Chutes & Ladders, what up.

1. SCRABBLE

Forget all those online scrabble games. Go out and get the actual game to bring out your inner wordsmith. Sure by now the last spelling test you took was eons ago but this game is more than just plopping tiles down to make the first word you see. Always look for those bingos.

Obviously I excluded games involving solely cards, like Gin. And there was no mention of dominoes or other games as Operation. But this was about board games, so let me know what your list includes.

Adam Lambert Comes Out...No one surprised.

GRAY
"I'm Gay."
-Adam Lambert in an exclusive interview with Rolling Stone.


No Kidding. Of course you’re gay Adam. So why is this news. Has Rolling Stone really succumb to the non-newsworthy sensationalism that is a staple of wak publications like US Weekly, People, and Cosmo?…… it shouldn’t matter at all that Adam Lambert is gay, because it shouldn’t matter that anyone is gay; it’s really not that uncommon. The article in the Rolling Stone is certainly trying to capitalize on Lamberts popularity despite losing American Idol, by hyping up the most noticeable difference between he and the shows other competitors,. his sexuality. But if it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, it’s usually a duck. That said, NOBODY should care that Lambert is a duck….and here’s why.

Since homosexuals aren’t really registering at city halls across America, there are no true numbers that can estimate what percentage of our nation is gay. But based on regional censuses taken since 2000, the total number of gays in the US could be as high as 11% or as low as 3%.....Black people are 12% of the US population and Asians are 3.6%........thus being gay is about as common as being black or being Asian….or somewhere in between. Do you get excited when you see a black person in this country? Do you stop and read an article bcause the celebrity on the cover is Asian? I doubt it. It’s simply apart of American culture, as is homosexuality. This isn’t the 80s or early 90s where coming out should be such a big deal to anyone besides the individuals in the person’s life. Lamberts family and friends are the only ones who should yearn to learn more about his sexuality and truly understand him….for the rest of us, he’s just a dude who sings well and dresses his ass off..(and likes snakes)….Lambert is a singer, and assigning significance to Lambert’s sexuality when it has nothing to do with whether or not he can sing is the height of homophobia.


Though today is Tuesday, I could not provide a tutorial for I had to put in my 2 cents on this topic. If Rolling Stone and People can get away with this…..I want the next edition of Vibe magazine to feature DMX on the cover…and it should read,…”I’m black…as hell.” It will be as racist as the Stone is homophobic,…but it will be at least 8 times funnier.

Cats and Dogs

Many guys may have steered clear from the chick flick starring Julia Roberts, My Best Friends Wedding. Nonetheless the movie's subliminal message was understood loud and clear: men and women can not be best friends. Sure friendships between the sexes can and do exist and at some point these friends may even believe they are best friends. But that's all a farce. There are a few reasons why the sexes can not maintain strictly platonic and close relationships.

FEELINGS- Guys have feelings too, so this is not a calling out of women. Instead it is only an acknowledgement that it's natural for someone to develop some type of feelings in this situation. As best friends spend countless hours together, many of which without strife. During this time they easily open up and share their most intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences. How can anyone avoid this trap? Zack and Miri couldn't.

SEX- Between the sexes there is nothing that muddles the waters more. After having been broken up for quite some time, Jerry and Elaine decided to get back into bed together after coming across some porn. Having sex once then threatened their friendship as they thought they would try dating. Only to once again realize they weren't a good couple. Having sex made them reconsider what they had already deemed a bad decision. For those friends who have not dated before and/or do not have their lives preordained by a group of writers, sex can be much more damaging.

SIGNIFICANT OTHERS- If the umbrella being cast now still has you in the rain, no worries, you will be dry soon. Once you enter a relationship you have symbolically said that this person is the best member of the opposite sex for me. So that leaves your 'best friend' in second place. When your best friend is the same sex, this is not a problem because nothing is really expected to change between the two of you. Whereas now you can not be taking calls from a member of the opposite sex past midnight, especially while with your partner. Those long nights just hanging out alone are now put under the microscope as well. And the bottom line here is there are just too many expected or necessary changes to be made in order to keep things afloat with your partner. For example, if you have seen, You, Me & Dupree then you would know that the only way that is happening is if Dupree is a man. Because regardless of how down and out Owen Wilson was, had his name been Owena or Duprina, Kate Hudson is telling Matt Dillon, "NO. NEVER."

Now by no stretch of the imagination am I discouraging opposite sex friendships, but let's be realistic here. Everyone fooled around on Friends and since art is often an imitation of life (often without any real consequences) why do so many people insist they are so different? If you think you are one of the immune, please elaborate.

Kobe Kobe Kobe

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Kobe Bryant and his new look. Apparently this look means he is determined and really really wants it. All I see is a stupid look. When did he come up with this? Playing in the living room with daughter while pretending to be a monster? Does he realize how stupid he looks? Why aren't his teammates calling him out and saying, put your jaw away.

Kobe is great, and is most likely going to win the finals this year. But Kobe this look is stupid. I mean look at it. I want to my computer as I type this. Step your trademark look game up Kobe.

Sportsman

What's done is done. And since our scientists have not mastered time and space there is nothing we can do to change the actions of yesterday. So regardless of how bad the NBAs King and Most Valuable Player, Lebron James, looked by refusing to shake hands nothing can be done about it. But the incident can still be used. Used as a learning tool for those playing and aspiring to play sports, of sportsmanship.

What Lebron James did is not unprecedented. Isiah Thomas and a slew of other Detroit Pistons rushed off the court after Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls beat them in 1992. Blackhawks goalie Ed Belfour didn't shake hands with the Red Wings after losing in the Conference Finals in 1995. And you never see any Major League teams congratulate an opponent. So what Lebron did is not that crazy, but given his status it does not look for him or the league.

Sportsmanship is important to the integrity of any game. That is fact, backed not only by the countless sportsmanship awards dolled out in amateur sports. But also by the rules against taunting and such throughout professional sports. When Dikembe Mutombo is told to stop wagging his finger at opponents after blocking a shot or when Chad Ocho Cinco is flagged for celebrating a touchdown, their respective leagues are trying to set an example. An example for the legions of young fans of what is unsportsman-like. You do what you can to best your opponent but you do not embarrass them, act like you have been there before is the adage.

Whether you are a professional athlete, weekend warrior or youngster it is vital to show humility, especially in the face of defeat. In doing so you are setting a proper example for whomever may be watching. For example this past weekend Guayama (Buse's softball team) lost two games in extra innings and after each loss we shook the hands of our opponents. And that's something that, if I were a father, I would be incredibly proud of. Because regardless of how much of a competitor I am-Lebron- I took the time to give credit where credit was due. Remember it is just a game, no matter how heated things get while playing be humble, gracious and a big enough sportsman to accept defeat. You can't be called a winner until you learn to lose.

Chosen One?

Gray

Monday Mullings:
I am not Impressed

I have already broadcasted to Buse nation my strong affinity toward Kobe Bryant and my relative aversion toward Lebron James. So it is probably no surprise to anyone that on a Monday following a weekend in which Kobe advances to the finals and Lebron is “gone fishin”, that I am mulling on the state the game in regards to the two best players.

As much as I would have loved to see the matchup between Kobe and Lebron for the ultimate basketball crown, I am happy with the way things ended this weekend, as we saw the side of Lebron James that I always knew was there, but couldn’t say anything about. I have never liked James’ personality from day one. And even though he is marketable, has a great smile, is personable, and a great image for the NBA and ambassador for the US sports….I hate his hoopin personality. After losing game 6 to the Magic, not only did James leave the court without shaking his opponents’ hands, he refused to answer questions from the media following the loss, and forced his teammates, (role players) to bear the brunt of not meeting their championship expectations. His excuse the next day was that he “hates losing” so why would he congratulate the team, or address the media after losing in the playoffs.

So now, I finally feel vindicated for having openly disliked Lebron all along, because I knew this was his true personality and it has finally come forth. Lebron, everyone hates losing. Hating to lose is an excuse a 6th grader gives when he refuses to shake hands after a basketball game, not “the chosen one.” I’m not clamoring for good sportsmanship because these are grown ass men, their feelings won’t be hurt by a missed handshake. But if you want to clap chalk on everyone, dance on the sidelines during garbage time of a game in which your team is blowing the opponent out, and pose for the crowd every time you make a lay-up….i think you should be able to say good game Dwight after he scores 40 points on you to knock you out the playoffs. If you’re going to seek out the media like a PR guru answering 30 questions after you go for a triple double….you should talk to the media when they ask you...why, a member of the first team all defense is guarding Rafer Alston, instead of Hedo or Rashard Lewis.

I’m ecstatic to see that Kobe will have a chance to win another ring, Shaq-less this time in order to silence the haters. And I’m happy that all those “witnesses” actually witnessed the side of Lebron that I had a hunch was there all along. In the end I don’t care how many triple doubles you have, you ARE NOT the leader of your team when you bounce and leave Anderson Varejao to tell the Cleveland media…i.e. your fans why your team just got worked.