I've Got Hobbies Too

Whoop That Trick Wednesdays: Dateline--Signs of Summer seen everywhere, especially in the Hood.

Yesterday was a surprisingly warm day in the city of Chicago. Despite recent temperatures this month as low as 33 and temperatures this coming week expected to be no higher than 55, March 17th, 2009 was a beautiful sunny, 70 degrees for St. Patrick’s Day in the city of the Chi. In a city like ours, where the Winters, Springs, and Autumns can be particularly brutal, unexpected warm weather days are greatly appreciated by all, and downright celebrated by many. I personally love these days because you get to engage in warm weather activities for one day to wet your appetite for the summer. So just for a day, all the signs of winter that have become a daily routine vanish, and all the signs of summer reappear. Here are the most important things to note in each of both categories. The good and bad of what goes away for a day and what comes back.

Gone for a Day (Good)
*Coats--good
*Spaceheaters in the office--better
*1000s of Girls Wearing Ugg boots--best

Gone for a Day (Bad)
*Excuses to be lazy and not go outside--bad
*Hard Nipples--worse

Back for a Day (Good)
*Sunglasses--good
*Playing catch outside--better
*Titties--best (by far)

Back for a Day (Bad)
* Oversized "fashionable" women's sunglasses--bad
* Small talk about how nice the weather is--worse
* Gangbangers--worst (by far)
___________
If you happened to be in K Town, Humboldt, Englewood, Stony, Pilsen, or even downtown (it seems like) yesterday chances are you witnessed a dramtic uptick in gangbanging. Though it may of gone unnoticed because you were busy paying attention to how gorgeous it was outside, if you were in the hood at any point yesterday, you probably noticed all of your familiar yet subtle reminders, e.g. the fitted hat with a massive watch on the bill, the 12 year old walking around a crowded street with a baseball bat, but no ball or glove, and the good old fashioned prolonged hard look and stare down at a random red light. It's no secret gangbangers hate the cold. Now that doesn't mean that they love the heat, but they celebrate an unexpected warm day the same as the rest of us. They throw on the fresh clothes that they haven't touch in a few months, and give everyone around them a little taste of the summer.

Gangbangers shown here clearly less enthusiastic due to the cold temperatures which they're forced to endure in order to gangbang effectively.

Now I am not taking time here to crusade against gangbangers, but I'm definitely whoopin that trick for their hypocrisy on this one. Anyone who has ever met, or been confronted by a gangbanger may notice that they often impose their gangbanging into all social situations. Thus, even if they're in a setting in which no other gangs are present and they don't even know the people in the room,... odds are they will still distribute hard looks, show you their gang signs, and instruct everyone present how to wear their respective hats in a fierce, militant manner.

But apparently, this practice of being perpetually "hard" takes a 4 month hiatus because of a ill-favored weather? That's not hard at all, but soft. Gangbangers often claim that their gang affiliation is a way of life. But it seems to be more like a seasonal sport, like baseball in Summer or football in Fall. Whoop that trick. It isn't a way of life if you only do it when it's nice outside, it's merely an interest. From now on, I am refering to gangbanging as strictly a "hobby".