Tuesday Tutorial: Do's and Don'ts; Will's and Won'ts
This Tuesday, I want to address and provide insight on a topic that, despite my age, is still a very relevant issue. Drinking Games. As a 22 year old man, nearly 2 years removed from my college days and the youthful prime of my best binge drinking abilities, I have come to appreciate drinking games much more. It’s surprising how often they can make or break a night, and so I wanted to show my appreciation by giving you a little tutorial on some of our favorite games; instructing you when and when not to play them.
Cards Boozing
Games like F*** the Dealer, Ring of Fire, Connections, Tourettes, Up and Down the River
Card games are excellent ice breakers and should be used primarily when boozing in a mixed gendered environment. In all card drinking games everyone takes a turn with all eyes on them, and often times, they are given the chance to interact directly with another person as a result of their turn. So whether that turn involves taking a card, predicting a card, blurting out an answer, or commanding another player to drink,…the opportunities for flirtation are endless as you can choose to zone in on any participant and run as much gizzle as possible within the confines of the game. For a mixed audience, card games are just ideal.
Do not however play cards when the audience is all one gender. For guys it’s a bad idea because card games are all games of chance, and men prefer games of actual competition based on skill. (Beer pong, beer dye, baseball etc.) Basically if we win in a card game with all guys, “we’re awesome”. If we lose, “the game is bullshit”. Card drinking games and an all male cast of players is one of the early stages of ridiculous “beer balls” that present themselves in an ugly moments later in the night. As for women, in card drinking games, no one gets drunk evenly. Someone ends up pulling the unlucky card that forces them to drink more than everyone else. This is bad for women because when they don’t drink evenly, one woman gets TOO drunk. A woman who is TOO drunk can only lead to night riding, or babysitting, both of which are undesirable circumstances for every woman involved.
Mobile Boozing
Games like Speed Quarters, Civil War (or any beer pong game with live rebounds), ClusterF***
These games are definitely tight. It’s hilarious to hustle around a table, or slide cups around in a fast-paced high scoring fashion. But these games should not be played in unfamiliar confines. All too often at parties you have the group of friends who want to turn the beer pong table into the Civil War table, or who want to turn the card table into the speed quarters table. When this happens, they bring uninvited intensity into a party and should they happen to be annoying, everyone now hates them. Mobile boozing games should be kept among friends, in those same friend’s homes and apartments. Don’t bring your mobile boozing to my house, because if I don’t know you that well, I can’t have you boxing me out for rebounds or breaking my drinking glasses with quarters.
Games that Should Never be Played again…
Anything that involves chanting…Zoomy Zoomy/Fuck You
These games suck. What is this? Kindergarten??! We all sing together now. We look like idiots out here pounding a table and then clapping our hands in unison. Not to mention, we’re grown ass men and women, I’m sure there is a quieter, less obnoxious way to booze effectively.
Flippy Cup
Great game, cool concept, but no one ever keeps score and EVERYONE cheats. People use two hands constantly and if they don’t flip successfully after 3 tries, they simply grab the cup and place it down and laugh as if it were some sort of joke. But really this game is a joke, it always sounds like a good idea, but you play 4 uninspired rounds before someone goes to the bathroom and then the game ends immediately. No staying power, people lose interest quickly.
When in Doubt???
Shoulders
I don’t have enough time to go into specifics, but odds are, you probably know why this game is so great. All you need is 5 players, and at least 2 of them girls, and you’ve got yourself a party. Splendid.
3 comments:
Gray....I gotta commend you. Very thought-out analysis here today. I would comment however that even more important than where one plays....is the rules. Not a lot was said in the blog about this.
As someone who is relatively new to the boozing scene (as me and Beans didn't really get into it in high school) one HUGE point of contention is rules of the games. Too many times at college parties have moods been killed, fights broken out, and even friendships ended over how a particular game is played. A lot has to do with the school one goes to. Being from a Big East school such as DePaul, "beer pong" went by the name of "Beirut" and had EXTREMELY weird rules (Only a certain number of formations to rack the cups in, no bounces, etc.) I've even seen shoulders played differently at schools like Uni. of Akron. when it comes to what to do at every multiple of 5. So rules are extremely important...especially in mixed crowds of people, where not everyone knows each other or a large number of schools are represented.
Also, I might add that while Shoulders is an amazing game, it is essentially a team game. And as such, players must be aware of the weakest players on the team (AKA Emily Gillot!!!!!) and take note of what situations are suitable to pass to them (usually never in a situation above the number 4) as doing so could cause GREAT AMOUNTS of frustration when those players inexplicably forget the sequential order of the numbers (Example: 12, 11, 10, 8....really?!? You just forgot the number 9???) or are too busy texting or having side bars. At that point, Shoulders becomes like an all out "rip on them" fest and feelings could possibly be hurt...and nights ruined.
Best 4 games. in no order. cause it depends on the night. how fucked up ur trying to get, and the people ur with.
1. beer pong. it will never go out of style, and if ur able to play it outdoors its even better
2. flip cup. i disagree with jay's argument here. flip cup has tremendous upside, and has the ability to really get a lame party going. nothing like a little competitive game. i have played many heated flip cup games. and ya maybe people arent keeping track of the score, but its a great way to get fucked up, and flirt with a cute girl on ur team.
3. ring of fire -- never have i ever. water falls. question master. enough said.
4. prolly my favorite -- but u pretty much need all dudes, or girls that know how to drink. 99. its a great way to fuck ur friends over and strategy is somewhat involved. but shooting the shit, and drinking is what its all about. nothing like chugging a full beer in 5 seconds.
Chee you do have a point, but that is the case in life. Whenever someone is the weakest link they open the door to being ripped on by anyone better then they are. As long as it is socially acceptable (like you don't make fun of your slowest reading friend- but you do make fun of your slowest running friend). That is part of the beauty of competition, if you seek to avoid that, than don't compete/participate.
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