To The Dogs

After the 2007 death of Leona Helmsley the world was left shocked. Not because she was a Princess Diana but because this real estate baroness left her multi billion dollar estate literally to the dogs. In fact in her will she named her dog, Trouble, as a beneficiary! Well the billions of dollars are not all going to the dogs, instead the dogs (or dog related charities) will receive about $1 million of a $136 million pie. But that's not the story. I understand Ms. Helmsley's case is of the rarest variety, because money is involved, but this devotion to 'man's best friend' runs deeply through the blood of many Americans.

Dogs are great, they provide some of the purest most unadulterated fun and companionship. But people get a grip here, they are still just dogs. This is not necessarily a call out to members of PETA because as I know at any moment anyone can become susceptible to the charm that lay behind those 'puppy dog eyes'. But just like any other brief moment of insanity you need to keep it together.

On a daily basis any dog will receive more affection than John or Jane Doe put together. No one walks up to a stranger asking for a hug or massaging people behind their ears and allowing them to lick to you because they're cute. So why do you behave this way with dogs? If you claim to be the avid animal lover then where is your pocket full of acorns to entice the cute bushy tailed squirrels? The world would be a much better and more enjoyable place if strangers treated each other as well as they treat that leashed dog outside the dry cleaners.

Now there are also tons of peculiar dog owners, learn and stay

within the boundaries here. For starters, dogs do not need babysitters. So stop taking them to PETCO and paying hourly rates to have someone watch them pee, poop and cage them. Either put them in your yard or close doors to rooms you do not want them to stay out of. Secondly, Alpo and Pedigree etc make food geared towards a dog's diet. So there is no reason a dog ought to be in the kitchen while you are eating as if this is a dinner party. Throw them a bone when you're done eating if anything but in another room. Lady and the Tramp were two dogs, no need to share pasta, meat or ice cream together. Third, if you are going to treat your dog like kid, then have a kid. Dogs should not dictate what their master does with their lives. Make sure the dog isn't going to die and keep a sanitary home with the dog but please live your life. Otherwise you are not a dog owner or master, but a life partner. Lastly, dogs do not belong in bed with you. They sleep on pillow or blankets but not with you in bed. If you don't mind not having the space why get the queen, full, or king sized beds? Get a twin and save a buck.

Although there have been malicious words spewed forth towards dogs and their owners, I am not a hater. I did watch and love Marley & Me, I even cried. But people remember what these animals are, they are your pets. So whether you sign your entire estate to them or simply love making out with dogs, keep things in perspective and within the boundaries. Or else any whack job can find a way to justify something as gross as bestiality, it's a slippery slope people.